Prologue….
After folding the piece of paper in her hands she gently placed it back in the envelope. Sighing she closed her eyes and let her head fall down to the desk with a thump. She missed him so much sometimes it hurt to breathe. She tried to tell herself she had been through this before and it would all be okay, but she knew this time was different. It was different in so many ways.
She could tell from the tone of his letters that this time was he was different. He was holding back, not really letting her know how he truly was. When he went the last time his letters had been honest and he had shared his feelings with her. His fears, his excitement and his sense of pride in what he was doing had come through so clear in those letters. Now, his letters were guarded. Almost like he had closed himself off. Was it from everyone or just her? A tear slid from her eye as she lifted her head. Did he regret what happened between them his last night here? Was what he was going through so bad that he felt he needed to protect her? Was he afraid he might not make it back to her and he thought it would be better to pull away now? Maybe she should write and tell him. A voice inside her head told her it might give him a reason to fight harder to survive and make it back home. As fast as the thought came another voice rang out in her head telling her not to tell him. He needed to concentrate on staying alive. He didn't need to be distracted by this.
As she rose from her desk she decided to keep her secret for now, anyway. She reached up to turn out the light spilling the darkness of her mood into her office. As she walked through the halls to her car she worked on convincing herself that she could do this. She would do this, because there really was no other choice. Her only real fear was that he would never forgive her for it.
Wishes vs. Reality by Bessie